There was a time when women were expected, if they were fortunate enough to have the means, to stay home and tend to the domestic affairs of the family.
Then there came a time when women were urged, and then expected, to enter enthusiastically back into the career force.
Then there came a time when people understood that completely ignoring the home and family was counterproductive, so it was expected that women would not only work full-time jobs, but also return to the domestic goddess of years past.
And then women started breaking down. And then the expectation changed: no one could "have it all"! Don't try! Instead, just continue to work and take good care of your family. But don't call it having it all, because that's not realistic. (And it's not just women anymore -- men are staying home, and experiencing the brilliant privilege of being pulled in six different directions at once.)
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| This is me being chased by a sunflower. A decent metaphor for everyday life. |
We can't have it all. It's exceedingly obvious. But no one ever wrote an instruction manual on managing to have less than "it all" without losing control. And while I wouldn't call this blog an instruction manual, maybe it's a place where other people facing similar issues can look for a little sympathy. A little reassurance that letting the "Continue watching Octonauts?" message appear on Netflix every once in a while doesn't mean you're the world's worst parent.
Besides -- there is joy and beauty in every day, whether my house looks perfect or not. The trade-offs are many, as are the sacrifices and frustrations, but that doesn't mean that life isn't amazing and fun and exciting and sweet. What would it feel like to live the perfect day? I have no idea, but I know that despite the imperfections, I'm living day after day of my own little blue heaven.
So who am I? I'm a human female, a wife and mother, a writer, a friend, a family member, a dog lover, a nester, a seamstress, a gardener, a crafter, and a pretty terrible cook.
What am I? Busy. Tired. Happy. Stressed. A system-creator. A do-it-yourselfer. An introvert homebody outnumbered in a family of people who always want to go somewhere.
Where am I? Southern California. Hardiness zone 10A/B. On a hill so my vegetable garden tends to run more like a northern garden -- no real sun on the beds until late April. I'm also in my house. I love my house. I love being home. I love taking care of my home. I don't love laundry, but I love having things neat. This is a huge struggle for me, as it is in my nature to be messy.
When... when I'm not writing, which is my "job," and when my daughter isn't in preschool, I'm keeping busy with all of the various domestic activities and projects that never quite seem to be finished. Probably because I'm busy trying to finish everything at once, so nothing quite ends up at the completion point.
Why am I blogging again, after a six-ish year hiatus? Maybe because I feel that blogging is coming full circle. For many years, a blog was your "home" on the internet. Then there came distractions -- Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, everywhere else that you're supposed to have a presence. I drifted away.
But now I feel that establishing your "home" on the internet is a matter of choice, not chance. No longer blown about like a feather in the wind, it's up to the individual to find a spot and sit there (that is, unless the individual has zero desire, which I understand completely). Not only that, but when I read back over my old blog entries, I enjoy them. Blogging is a form of writing with so much less pressure than writing books. When I had an "author blog," I mostly (but not always) wrote about topics related to writing. Now I'm not going to do that. My life is more than writing. My life is a million things.
So I'm going to talk about a few of them. Okey-dokey?
k.
